A Sad Day for French Pedicures

It wasn't too long ago that I was in Varadero, Cuba, sporting a French pedicure as I strolled along the beach and drank many a pina colada. I was rather happy with my choice of toenail polish, and I spent quite a lot of time admiring my handiwork as I worked on my tan. Since returning to Montreal, however, I have noticed something rather disturbing. Everyone...and I mean everyone...has a French pedicure. And it's not pretty.

The moment you realize that something has become officially "overdone" is a bit angering. For those who don't want to look like every other woman on the street (i.e. me), this annoyance comes from the realization that you have to find a new schtick, but also from the fact that your previous routine (the French pedicure) has been utterly and completely ruined by idiots. I say "ruined" because there are a lot of women out there who are sullying the French pedicure's name. They're walking around with horribly botched polish jobs that they attempted themselves, possibly in the dark. They're walking around with hideously long toenails, whose revolting length is emphasized by the white strip they have sloppily painted across the top. They're walking around with French pedicures and Teva sandls, Umbro shorts and crochet crop tops. It's almost too much to bear.

So ladies, it's all over. You may be able to continue sporting your much-loved French pedicure for a while longer in other cities, but it won't be long until the same thing that has happened here in Montreal happens in your town. And then it will be back to the drawing board.

File under:

pedicures, played out